You, Too, Can Overcome Grief

This week’s message, which I took at random from my book, Little Pocket of Love. 

When we are in the depths of grief, the thoughts of overcoming that searing pain, sadness and anger, seems impossible. But as my idol Audrey Hepburn once said “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible”.

Think about that for a moment. 

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It is possible to overcome anything in life because you make it possible, you have the choice. The person responsible for your suffering and your pain, is you. And while the death of a loved one is the reason for this feeling, you now have the power to control it and controlling it is facing up to the loss, facing your past and taking the steps to overcome it. 

It’s a harsh reality to think that you can control your own feelings right now. It can hurt even thinking that and you may choose to ignore what I am saying because you are not ready to take control. But that is okay. Some day in the future, you will read back over this and decide that today is the day. 

I never thought I would ever make sense of what happened to me. Losing my brother and my father so close together. Why me? What sort of lesson is this? What sort of God is he for doing this to me? You can hear the hurt and the resentment in my words. 

I was a victim. I was playing the victim. I blamed everyone else for my pain and my sadness. I blamed Marcus, Dad, those around me, God. Anyone that I could point a finger toward, I did just that. 

That was no way to live. Everyone else got on with life but I was left behind. Because I was leaving myself behind. 

Taking control of my own life was a huge milestone for me because I began to see the light again, I could smile and laugh. It meant enjoying my life again and living and beginning to move forward. 

I am currently re-reading Awareness by Anthony deMello and when I first read it, I was playing the victim and didn’t like what he said to me but now I get it, I understand it and it’s liberating. I feel liberated from my grief. 

How did I do this? I sought professional help. Speaking to a therapist allowed me to face up to my past that was haunting me. I dug deep and had to relive some very painful moments, some memories I had buried so deep. Trauma that was manifesting into depression and anger. The floodgates opened and the tears washed down my face like a blocked dam that had been cleared. 

I spoke honestly to my family and friends about my suffering and they were all supportive and patient as I discovered this new sense of myself. I read and wrote and still, today, almost a decade later, I read, re-read and write. I am still learning and growing. 

Overcoming grief is like crossing the finish line of a race, it’s that feeling when the final whistle blows favouring your team. It’s exhilarating. It’s that view that takes your breath away with its beauty. It’s a relief, joy and peace. It is a sign of resilience and strength. 

But, remember, if you’re not ready to take this step, that is fine. Listen to your body and follow your gut. When the time is right for YOU, you will be ready. It’s all about divine timing and when it’s time, you will know. 

Meghann x 

Little Pocket of Love is available here: https://www.bookhubpublishing.com/product/little-pocket-of-love/

Broken Love is available here: https://www.bookhubpublishing.com/product/broken-love/

• I am not a psychologist or therapist, I am a girl sharing my own story that may resonate with you and help you along your own journey. Seek professional help, it’s the best investment you can make.