You, Too, Can Overcome Grief
This week’s message, which I took at random from my book, Little Pocket of Love.
When we are in the depths of grief, the thoughts of overcoming that searing pain, sadness and anger, seems impossible. But as my idol Audrey Hepburn once said “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible”.
Think about that for a moment.
It is possible to overcome anything in life because you make it possible, you have the choice. The person responsible for your suffering and your pain, is you. And while the death of a loved one is the reason for this feeling, you now have the power to control it and controlling it is facing up to the loss, facing your past and taking the steps to overcome it.
It’s a harsh reality to think that you can control your own feelings right now. It can hurt even thinking that and you may choose to ignore what I am saying because you are not ready to take control. But that is okay. Some day in the future, you will read back over this and decide that today is the day.
I never thought I would ever make sense of what happened to me. Losing my brother and my father so close together. Why me? What sort of lesson is this? What sort of God is he for doing this to me? You can hear the hurt and the resentment in my words.
I was a victim. I was playing the victim. I blamed everyone else for my pain and my sadness. I blamed Marcus, Dad, those around me, God. Anyone that I could point a finger toward, I did just that.
That was no way to live. Everyone else got on with life but I was left behind. Because I was leaving myself behind.
Taking control of my own life was a huge milestone for me because I began to see the light again, I could smile and laugh. It meant enjoying my life again and living and beginning to move forward.
I am currently re-reading Awareness by Anthony deMello and when I first read it, I was playing the victim and didn’t like what he said to me but now I get it, I understand it and it’s liberating. I feel liberated from my grief.
How did I do this? I sought professional help. Speaking to a therapist allowed me to face up to my past that was haunting me. I dug deep and had to relive some very painful moments, some memories I had buried so deep. Trauma that was manifesting into depression and anger. The floodgates opened and the tears washed down my face like a blocked dam that had been cleared.
I spoke honestly to my family and friends about my suffering and they were all supportive and patient as I discovered this new sense of myself. I read and wrote and still, today, almost a decade later, I read, re-read and write. I am still learning and growing.
Overcoming grief is like crossing the finish line of a race, it’s that feeling when the final whistle blows favouring your team. It’s exhilarating. It’s that view that takes your breath away with its beauty. It’s a relief, joy and peace. It is a sign of resilience and strength.
But, remember, if you’re not ready to take this step, that is fine. Listen to your body and follow your gut. When the time is right for YOU, you will be ready. It’s all about divine timing and when it’s time, you will know.
Little Pocket of Love is available here: https://www.bookhubpublishing.com/product/little-pocket-of-love/
Broken Love is available here: https://www.bookhubpublishing.com/product/broken-love/
- I am not a psychologist or therapist, I am a girl sharing my own story that may resonate with you and help you along your own journey. Seek professional help, it’s the best investment you can make.
2 thoughts on “Mindful Monday…4”
Such honestly Meghann and yes just talking to someone can lift a weight on one’s shoulders. Life is a journey that takes us down roads which shape us and make us who we become!! Surround yourself with caring people and the road’s you travel become more bearable and a little less challenging!! Life is so precious xx
And always return to the best version of yourself.
Hi Meghan. I listen and follow Classic Hits and somehow landed on your Insta page only to read this post. It is one I will save and come back to on occasion. On Feb 9 my son of 26 years passed away after he and his brother were in a car accident. My younger son was the driver. The devastation we are feeling is like nothing I could imagine. He was a very special person and left such a massive impact on everyone who knows him. Sadly we ha e been unable to try to seek help on this as we are now facing a huge battle as the commonwealth attorney has chosen to charge Cian for involuntary manslaughter and reckless driving which can carry a sentence of up to 10 years in prison! It makes no sense as it was an accident on a bad back road coming home from work and no one else was involved. The grief and confusion is suffocating. I hope one day once this is over and hope my sons case is dismissed that I will be able to look at your post again and see it in a clearer light.