It has been a while since I posted a blog such as this one. Grief is something that never leaves the soul. It’s a journey that we will all experience at some stage or another. It can be lonely and dark but it is a road that can be taken. It may take you longer than others, or so it may seem. But in the end the light prevails. A deep understanding of life is gained and acceptance reached.
If you are new to my blog then I guess I should explain myself. I lost my brother Marcus in 2005. He was 18 years old, my big brother, and I just 15. He lost his life tragically in a car accident. He was the pillar of our family as my parents were separated since we were young. He took on more than just a brother role, he in some ways was a father figure and the care giver. A year and a half after his passing, my father Maxie died. I was 16. To lose the most important men at such a tender age was extremely difficult. But I have learned through the pain and suffering to accept what has happened.
Writing has been of great help to me and has allowed me to express what I truly feel. The first blog I shared about what I was feeling was in 2011, during University, when I hit a wall. It explains the deep hurt I was experiencing. You can read that here.
In the Living With Grief section I have been sharing my life and journey with grief honestly and openly to hopefully help you if you have lost someone you love.
It’s not an easy road and it does take time. You need to put yourself first. Your own needs and feelings.
I will be sharing more from my old diaries as time goes on.
This is something I wrote for my Dad on his anniversary some years ago (August 12th).
Seven years later and my feet are not on Irish soil but never fear, wherever my heart wanders, your soul is always with me.
For years I wandered and drifted away from reality and lived a distorted ‘reality’, one where I avoided the pain and loneliness that accompanies death. But last year I stopped running and faced my ultimate fear. I had to let you go. I had to stop holding onto the life I was living, your life. I had to set you free.
Always by my side,