Courtship Without Pain by Marcus Scully

(Written by my late brother Marcus who was just 18-years at the time)

You love them, you hate them, you can’t live with them or without them. They break our hearts and help mend them. Women!

Believe it or not I’ve already experienced a hell of a lot of romantic trauma and success in my life. Women can and will break your heart if you give them a chance, so men you have to be smart, use your head to succeed with women.

There are “five steps” that I have come up with as a result of good and bad experiences with women. To start off, you have to find and get to know the girl. Take things slowly and get to know the positive and negative aspects to her. What are her strengths and weaknesses? After one night out you will find a lot out about this love of your life. The questions you have to ask are, is she ‘classy’? Is she a high maintenance girl or does she pay her own way? Now it’s not that you want to be tight, far from it, you just want to know are you going to have to pay for everything? I think it’s a fair enough point. Most of all the girl has to have class, because nobody wants a girl that drinks too much and you end up carrying her around. Can’t be having that!

The second step or phase to success in courtship is the first kiss. This has a lot more importance than you might think. The first kiss is a major event because as soon as it happens you know if there’s “chemistry” between the two of you. If there is you’re on a winner and maybe even the start of a romantic relationship.

Now step three. Half way there and here’s where the fun starts. (If you’re a woman you might not appreciate this “step 3” or maybe you might be given an insight into how to counteract our actions.) You have got to know the girl and you have shared the romantic first kiss. Now you have to get to know this girl a bit better. Start testing her. Play ‘hot ‘ and ‘cold’. Text her and then leave it a day. Text her again. (that’s hoping she replied to your first message.) You want to play hard to get and she will either love you or hate you. Let’s hope love you. Repeat this about three times, (if successful the first time) and see how she reacts. The problem arises when you and the girl are playing ‘hard to get’. The ‘chase’ is fun for a while but if it lasts too long it gets frustrating and you might start drifting apart.

After a month of ‘courting’ or ‘wooing’ this girl you have to decide is it time to get serious or not. Is she the girl you have always wanted or didn’t want? Don’t mean to be ‘soppy’ but do you love her? That’s the most important question of all because I don’t think I could be in a relationship if I didn’t love the girl I was with. OK, maybe I’m sounding a little like Sarah Jessica Parker from “Sex and the City” but come on, you have to be truthful. This is serious stuff, as I said women can either make you or break you!

When you answered these questions it’s time to decide “Should she stay or should she go?”. Do you want a serious relationship? If you do, move on to the final step, step five. (Scary stuff, not for the faint-hearted.) Now you have got to know the woman of your dreams, you have shared a kiss and have come to the conclusion you want to go out with her, (assuming you’ve decided that you love her).

I know you’re trembling at the knees and expecting the worst. The worst being that she’s going to turn you down. You have got to be strong, confident and most of all hopeful. Think positive like “what girl in her right mind is going to turn me down?” I can’t predict the future but sure if all else fails give the ‘five steps to success’ a shot. What’s the worst that can happen? After all we males have already gone to great lengths in our quest for romance and courtship. Trying this out won’t hurt (well I hope not). All I can say now is Good Luck!

by Marcus Scully
Written on the 23-02-2005

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